High Tech

Buying a new car, according to the no-conflict-here auto dealership commercials, is an exciting experience.

It’s fresh. It’s clean. It has that smell. Even the tire sidewalls are shiny.

What’s not to like?

The payments, one supposes. But, what the heck. You only live once, so everyone must deserve a new car.

Some, of course, are frightened off simply anticipating the car purchase process. Wild tales of unscrupulous salesmen (and, these days, not a few women), high pressure tactics and more up-selling than seems imaginable.

But, it is possible to skip all the dreaded and dreadful stories of miserable purchase experiences.

Not a few car dealers today are of the no-dicker flavor. Here’s the price. Say “yes” or “no.” Pretty simple. Maybe the only simple thing.

Recently, I traded my 2012 vehicle for the 2017 model.

Exciting!

I’m either the best or the worst car buyer for any salesperson. I don’t care about its color. I don’t even drive the new car (why should I? I’m getting the same thing, just newer.) I am, in fact, the no-dicker buyer.

What’s the price, what can you pay for my trade-in, and when can I have it?

Don’t tell me about fabric protection, undercarriage protection or any other prophylactic devices. No, I’m not interested in custom seat covers or some special feature to accommodate my pooch.

Just the number. One number that corresponds precisely to the figure you’ll want me to write on my check.

The entire deal took about 30 minutes, most of which was spent by an appraiser scrutinizing the 2012.

A week later, the new car is in. And then the fun begins.

On new cars, in case you don’t already know, owners have to know “a guy” for the simplest things. Like starting it.

Then, there are the mysterious symbols that magically appear on the dashboard.

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