Kevin (you may know him from his own blogs here) and I were chit chatting about relationships and realized we have too vastly different opinions on long distance relationships. So we decided to write about it, together (awwwwh, too cute). And Valentine's Day? No better day to write about dating in college, we think!
Some of you may know that I've been dating my highschool sweetheart, Mitch, all the while attending college. You may also know that he goes to school back where I'm from, which is 5 hours away. So by definition, we've been in a long distance relationship for the majority of our relationship. Though I miss Mitch terribly, I've got to say long distance has made us both stronger and better individually and as a couple.
Now, trust me. It has not been a walk in the park. You realize quickly all the small things you miss about a person when they're not around a majority of the time. The most recent "wow, I really miss him" moment is whenever I'm cooking or baking. My housemates and I don't have schedules that line up so I do a lot of cooking for me, myself and I. And that's just not fun.
And it's not just the little things you miss either. There's big stuff too. Like missing his track meets or not making it back in time to see him compete at states. Or, missing out on Valentine's Day.
But I wouldn't trade the past three years in for anything. I think the three years of long distance (it will be four all together by the time we graduate) has really done wonders for developing who we are as a couple and that we want to be together.
I've found no better way to put it than the current poet Tyler Knott Gregson wrote in his poem "Typewriter Series #54"
"I will miss you
even in the moments
when you are right
Time apart has planted
longing inside me
and I do not think
it is a weed
that will ever stop
It will always live there,
but my god,
it grows the most
So, if you're planning on having a long distance relationship in college or are already in one, I believe in you!
Doing the distance? Well, it's not all it's cracked up to be. College is a place where you grow and change, perhaps in greater amounts and faster than you ever have before. Is changing a bad thing? No, not necessarily.
But when you (or perhaps your significant other) realize you're a totally different person than
you were the day you moved in to your residence hall, it might not work out.
This isn't necessarily a bad thing either. To grant both you and a person you care about the chance to grow and learn and change, without being bound to another person who may not want that.
Overall, college is a place to learn and grow. Both mentally, physically, and emotionally. And for some people, to stay linked to someone else from another time results in not growing emotionally. I'm not saying that's true for everyone, but it's certainly true for more than a few folks out there.
But from both of us, which ever opinion you side with, Happy Valentine's Day and enjoy our Valentine's Day video. You may recognize it from last year, but come on, I (Erin) am adorable and there was no way we could top my adorableness this year.