Our son was born deaf and has cochlear implants. He is now 6 years old and in regular classroom with assistive devices. He seems to have a real trouble focusing and some issues with getting angry, upset, crying at times and arguing with adults. We are wondering if there are things we can do to help him gain better control of his emotions and get better focus.
It’s very important to remember that using assistive listening devices can be extremely stressful and tiring. Cochlear implants have become very sophisticated and can be highly effective for many children and adults. But, many children and adults still need to work quite hard to make sense of the auditory input they are receiving and process all that information. School can be tiring, too. So, one first step is to look at the times and situations that are most difficult for the youngster—the situations that bring up the most tears, anger, and arguing. These may be times when he has been listening and working extra hard to hear and understand everything and everyone and is tired and worried that he hasn’t gotten it all.
Tracking the times and situations that are most difficult can also help teachers and parents to intervene before the child has reached that peak of frustration and can no longer regulate their emotions (leading to crying, arguing, and anger). Once a child has “gone over the edge,” so to speak and is very upset, adults can mostly just help them gain control again. That might mean getting away from the situation, waiting out the outburst, keeping them safe, etc. But, if adults are able to recognize the warning signs, then intervening before control has been lost is possible. Helping children learn to manage difficult times while they are still in control of their emotions can be done through conversations, modeling of appropriate behavior, offering alternative activities, and basic empathic statements. And always remember to show children things they can DO when upset, as opposed to telling them what they should not do. Not doing things is much harder than having an appropriate alternative.