Time Out

The digital clock is immediately adjacent to the analog one. They’re so close, they touch. Not sure what the point of that is, but that’s the way Subaru prefers things. Maybe it ensures temporal fluency or horological literacy.

Twice a year, time change is demanded. It’s not time for a change; instead, move Mickey’s little hand (arm, really) forward or backward one hour.

Easy, right? Nothing to it? Child’s play.

Quoting John Belushi: “Noooooooooo.”

Maybe once upon a time. And in a galaxy far, far away. But not in 2017 Foresters.

Previously, in the 2012 model, one pushed a button – from a choice of two – marked with either a plus (+) or a minus (-) sign. Which, for those who’ve mastered third grade arithmetic, is self-explanatory.

But in 2017, no more. Not a hint of a button, never mind the symbols.

The car’s dashboard is loaded with multiple touchscreens, each with symbols and one more mysterious than the next. As though car manufacturers imported the Enigma Machine for their purposes. But not drivers’.

In the early days of computing and software, the mantra went like this: When all else fails, RTFM.

Read The %#@&ing Manual.

OK. Will do. Ten-four. Copy that. The owner’s manual is as thick as Gutenberg’s first edition Bible and . . . worthless. At least for this task.

Maybe for other things in or on the car it’s a vital resource. But not for setting – resetting, to be more precise – the clock. No help.

No big deal. Just subtract (or add, as appropriate) one from whatever hour is displayed. Or else be really, really prompt/late for every meeting or appointment.

Arriving at the gym a full ten minutes prior to its strict, railroad-like opening schedule, affords leisure: reading, radio listening, and fussing with dashboard controls.

Presto! Did it. Changed the clock’s time display. Both of ‘em, simultaneously. Achievement and merit washed over me like a tidal wave.

Well, I guess I’m pretty smart. How’d I do it? Dunno. Pressed the “Enter” button and few arrow buttons and Mission Accomplished.

Pressing “Enter” to set the clock. Not exactly intuitive.

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