How I Found a Roommate Without Knowing Anyone

Deciding to live in a shared apartment felt like the right choice for me. But once I made that decision, a new question immediately followed.

How do you find a roommate when you don’t know anyone?

I was moving to a new city, from a different country, and starting graduate school all at once. I didn’t have friends in Rochester. I didn’t have people to ask around. Every option I saw online was a stranger. That part was intimidating. Not dramatically so. Just quietly stressful.

How I Started

Placement in RIT housing is not guaranteed, but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth checking out.  Interested students should submit their RIT Housing Contract soon after they make their admissions deposit. More details regarding on-campus housing 

Once I knew I wanted a shared apartment, I had to figure out where people were even finding roommates.

Most of my search started online. I joined student housing Facebook groups, RIT-related groups, and channels where people were posting about sublets, relets, or looking to fill a room. At first, I didn’t message anyone. I just scrolled.

I paid attention to what people shared. Some posts were detailed. Some were vague. Some felt rushed. Some felt thoughtful. Even before reaching out, I started getting a sense of what felt right to me and what didn’t.

It wasn’t available when I went through this process, but now RIT partnered with ZeeMee, a free social media app. You can join RIT's online graduate community and chat with current RIT graduate students, and get your questions answered by graduate admissions counselors. You can also take a roommate quiz and post in the find a roommate channel! 

Why Housing Came First Before a Roommate

For me, choosing the housing came before choosing the roommate. I had already narrowed down where I wanted to live. Once that was clear, my focus shifted to finding people who were either already staying in the same place or were open to the same apartment setup. That made conversations easier.

Instead of starting with “tell me about yourself,” we could talk about the space first. The layout. Shared areas. How people imagined using the apartment day to day. Those details mattered to me more than personality descriptions.

How Conversations Helped Me Decide

When I felt comfortable, I started messaging people. Slowly.

If a conversation felt easy, I exchanged social media with them. That helped me understand who they were beyond a housing post. Not in a formal way. Just enough to feel like they were a real person, not just a name.

I noticed how we talked. Was the conversation natural or forced? Could we talk about preferences openly? Did we respond thoughtfully to each other?

Some conversations didn’t go anywhere, and that was okay. I didn’t push it. I reminded myself that living together is a daily thing, and comfort mattered more than speed.

What I Looked for in a Roommate

I wasn’t looking for someone exactly like me. I was looking for someone whose approach to living felt compatible.

Things that mattered to me:

• Similar expectations about shared spaces
• Being open about routines and boundaries
• Being comfortable communicating, even about small things

If we were able to talk through these easily, that mattered more than shared hobbies or interests.

Comfort Mattered More

Coming from a different country made this decision feel heavier. Home was far away, and everything else in my life already felt unfamiliar.

I didn’t need my roommate to become my closest friend. I just wanted to know that the space I came back to would feel steady. That I wouldn’t feel out of place in my own apartment.

Knowing there would be someone else around, someone also navigating this phase, made the transition feel less lonely.

What I Learned from the Process

Finding a roommate took time. More time than I expected. But that time helped me make a decision I felt calm about.

I learned that it’s okay to start by just observing, it’s okay to take conversations slow, and it’s okay to walk away if something feels off. You don’t need to rush this decision. You just need it to work for your routine and your comfort.

Finding a roommate when you don’t know anyone isn’t easy. It’s awkward, uncertain, and sometimes uncomfortable. But it’s also very possible. Start with where you want to live. Talk to people openly. Pay attention to how interactions make you feel.

Sometimes, choosing the right roommate is less about getting everything right and more about choosing something that feels steady while you find your footing.